Goren Withdrawals: A Case Study In Obsession
by Lina-Baggins
Summary: What happens when a fan deprived of Criminal Intent for a week? All hell breaks loose! Muhahahahaha!rnA humorous look at an obsessed fan (probably me)rnAnd yes, pun intended with the doctor's name!
1. Chapter One: Initial Study

Goren Withdrawal: A Case study in obsession.

Doctor In Charge: Prof. Anna Keene.

Aim: To produce a study in obsession, particularly in a patient addicted to Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

Results:

Day One:

Patient is particularly happy, as has been witness to an episode the previous night. Patient shows signs of normal behaviour, but has tendency to stare out of window for extended periods of time, smiling wistfully and draws small sketches of police officer badges and was heard humming theme song to L&O frequently. When asked about the show, patient exploded into step-by-step detail episode re-enactment, complete with mannerisms exhibited by the officers, mainly one Detective Goren.

Day Two:

Similar to day one, the subject's behaviour has not changed dramatically. However, subjects appears to be under stress, often appearing deep in thought. If disturbed during such moments, subject jumps and shouts 'It wasn't me, Goren! I swear!', looking around anxiously for the officer in question. This in itself is not unusual; daydreaming also produces similar results. But this is particularly relevant to the study.

Day Three:

Third day after subject has witnessed an episode of 'Criminal Intent'. Patient appears quite visibly under stress and often lapses into daydream state. When being spoken to, Patient often brings character references in that have no relevance to the conversation at hand. Patient has also been witnessed reading Sherlock Holmes novels to pass the time away. Whether this is a reference to Detective Goren's methods or not, this researcher cannot tell.

Day Four:

Subject is under considerable stress and was found this morning amid a pile of TV magazines, searching for articles and photos of the cast. When such an item was attempted to be removed, subject latched on and would not let go, even under pain that it would rip. Subject has amassed a large collection as such.

Day Five:

Disaster day. Patient spotted semi-grey haired janitor at institute and chased him up and down the halls screaming 'Goren! Goren! Aargh!', causing much distress. Patient was then caught and returned to quarters for observation. Nail-biting ensued, followed by several re-enactments of certain scenes from certain episodes.

Day Six:

Subject is under considerable stress and refuses to leave room until Criminal Intent is shown. Subject has surrounded herself with posters of the cast and has begun writing own episodes.

Day Seven:

Patient has had stress alleviated. An episode was shown to the patient, who was observed to be riveted to the screen for the better part of an hour. Afterward, the patient was interviewed and asked how she felt. Patient stated that she had 'never felt better' and that she didn't know what all the fuss was over.

Conclusion:

Patient suffers severe case of 'Goren Withdrawal Syndrome', which occurs in fans that have to wait a week or more in between episodes. Patient can make a full recovery if she starts watching Big Brother instead.


	2. Chapter 2: Follow up Report

Goren Withdrawal: A Case study in obsession.

Doctor In Charge: Prof. Anna Keene.

Aim: To produce a study in obsession, particularly in a patient addicted to Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

Results:

You all seemed to die laughing when I posted chapter one up. Well, here's the follow-up report from that trusted doctor, Professor Anna Keene!

Day One:

Patient was recently released into home care situation, so that this study may be more easily conducted with the temptation for the patient to chase the elderly janitor up the hallway on a Friday. _Criminal Intent_ was shown to the patient the previous night, patient appears to be exhibiting normal behaviour. For now.

Day Two:

Similar behaviour as day one, but suspected pattern of behaviour occurring. This was demonstrated when home help arrived. When help knocked on door, patient absent-mindedly shouted 'Don't kick my door down, Goren, I'll let you in!'. Whether the patient recalled this incident or not is uncertain, once help was let in, patient continued normal routine.

Day Three:

Three days have elapsed since an episode of _Criminal Intent_ was witnessed by the patient. However, today was shopping day. Patient spent hours scouring the Video & Audio sections of many department stores, then visibly shed tears when they could only find _Law & Order: SVU_. Patient came close to being physically removed from store, mumbling 'Bobby' under their breath.

Day Four:

Shopping trip successful; patient was found this morning, asleep amid a pile of magazines opened at various pages with reviews and/or plot spoilers for the next episode of _Criminal Intent_.

Day Five:

Patient has begun creating a large collage of _Criminal Intent_ material, that is roughly the size of a large canvas. When home help tried to take away canvas, patient hissed and snapped.

Day Six:

Patient has spent majority of day in bed.

Day Seven:

Patient has spent most of day counting down the hours until _Criminal Intent _is due to be shown. At 8:30pm (2030 hours), patient sits riveted as _Criminal Intent _is shown. Stress visibly alleviates.

Patient then calmly goes about regular chores as if nothing is wrong.

Conclusion 

Patient must have bi-weekly dose of _Criminal Intent_ for proper function. This researcher must now go and watch 'Collective'...


	3. Chapter Three: Testimony 1

Goren Withdrawals: A Case Study in Obsession

_Testimony of a Goren addict_.

My name is (name removed for anonymity) and I'm a Gorenholic.

It's easy to look at me and dismiss me as another junkie, but what would you know? How you could understand what it's like, waiting seven days for your next fix? Drug and alcohol addicts have it made, whenever _they_ need a fix, what do they do? They run squealing to their dealer. Where do we go when we need a fix? NBC only screens Goren ONCE A WEEK!

At first, it's easy to hide your Goren fixation. After all, Criminal Intent screens once a week. But then it gets worse. You start by idly thinking about Bobby while, perhaps, eating your lunch, wondering how he affords such expensive suits on a detective's salary. Then you go on to 'discovering' that your local DVD store sells season one and that it's 'not a crime' to own a piece of Goren. Pretty soon, you're hungry for more, so you trek long distances and spend _obscene_ amounts of money on the pilot episode and season three. You've started feeding your Goren addiction. You've become a Gorenholic.

After a while, Criminal Intent just isn't enough. You need _more_ of that fine actor, Vincent D'Onofrio, who plays Goren. So you go looking for anything and everything to do with him… movies, posters, interviews… you trawl the net for _hours_, just searching for _one more photo_… that's when you know you're addicted.

I wasn't always like this. Before Criminal Intent, I was once a caring, kind and productive member of the community. Now all I do is watch Goren… that smart, sexy, butt-busting detective. He's become my life. That's when I decided to _do_ something about. To rejoin humanity. I sought out Professor Keene's help and together, we're understanding my obsession with Criminal Intent.

So here I am, sharing my story about how I fell into the clutches of an obsession that has taken over my life. Next thing you know, I'll be writing CI fan fiction.

Fan fiction? Now _there's_ an idea…


	4. Chapter 4: Missing Persons Unit?

Goren Withdrawals: A Case Study In Obsession

Author's note:

To my loving and adoring legions who knew me best at the height of _Redemption Song_, this is for you! Sad as it is, I no longer write many LOCI fics, having confined myself to the new sexy Doctor, better known as David Tennant. Australia has just got season three's first two-parter, starting with _Daleks in Manhattan_. sigh Oh David...

Anyhoo, this is especially for the people who infallibly kept my spirits afloat while the writer's block set in before I discovered _Doctor Who_. Thank you always.

_Found on the dresser of a missing person_

To my family,

I know you all have thought me crazy. Insane. Mad. Whatever you wish to call it. But I assure you, I am none of the afore mentioned. I am completely sane and, to prove it to you, I have admitted myself to Carmel Ridge for psychiatric observation. Now, I know what you're going to say. She's really lost it this time, hasn't she? Completely off her rocker. Off the plank and into Loonyland, am I right? I reassure you, that is not the case. I am here of my own accord, to seek help in dealing with my Goren addiction.

I've seen the way you people look at me, like I'm some sort of lunatic (which incidently, is related the latin for moon, _luna_, together with the occurance of PMS every twenty-eight days, like the moon cycle... enough, I know). But I swear, the only reason that I am so interested in the television cop is his intelligence. The way he tracks criminals with effortless ease, his logic, his reasoning... the rest of the world pales in comparison to his genius.

I am not saying that he is the true genius. To say this would be denying greats like Shakespeare and Einstein, both of whose works I expect he is well versed in. No, I simply note that Goren is an extraordinarily intelligent man, unlike many of those who surround me. I often wonder how my brother finds both shoes in the morning when compared to Goren's greatness.

I ask you, do not try to find me. It will be easier on you if you do not. You may continue to live out your 'normal' lives and be happy in the knowledge that I am safe and looked after. Maybe one day, they will find the cure for being madly in love with the world's smartest man... oh, dear, I believe I have gone too far again.

Live a fantastic life, keep an open mind and never allow your library card to go dusty,

Your child.


End file.
